Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
Randomize
