It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
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