You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
