Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
Randomize
