BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
