You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
is this the sara with the beer cane?
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Randomize
