the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
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