This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
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