I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
im holly from the hills drunk
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
Randomize
