talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
