You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
