I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
