How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
Randomize