So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
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