I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
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