i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
It's official drugs can't kill me
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
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