Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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