yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
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