i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
