Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
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