Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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