your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
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