he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
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