Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
Why the fuck do they always fuck on couches in porn?
Don't ever text me while you're jacking off. EVER.
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Randomize
