You can't motorboat a personality
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
Randomize
