Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
The uberlube is also flammable
I have all the porn. Be there soon
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