i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
Randomize