Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Randomize
