You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
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