i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
Randomize