i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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