Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
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