Where are you?
In a non slutty way
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
Randomize
