Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Randomize
