literally had 100 drinks last night.
he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Randomize
