I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
