so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
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