I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
Randomize
