jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
I just threw up on my dentist
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
