I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
Randomize
