I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
Randomize
