I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
Randomize
