bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize
