How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
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