Porn is love you can see.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
Randomize
