i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Randomize
