I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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