So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
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