Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
Randomize
