Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
Randomize
