seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
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