You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
Come share oat with me in your robe
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
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