Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
