it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize
