If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Randomize
