just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
he just fucked me for my cheese..
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Randomize
