just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
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