I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
Randomize
