Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
It all started with a game of naked twister.
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
