I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
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