He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
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