Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
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