it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
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