i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
I got her a Nickelback box set.
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
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