so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
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