After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
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