that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
Randomize
