You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
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