No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
Randomize
