no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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